Untitled Pokemon Fic
by Flaming Jackrabbit
Summary: It's a lovely day in the Pokémon world. And you are a not so nice bird.


(It's a lovely day in Unova, and you are a horrible Swanna.)

The sun is rising. It's all sorts of glorious, and warm, and bright. The pond you reside in is still, wind not having yet picked up. Slowly, you wake up and look at the sky. How marvellous! The clouds are lovely today, looking like a Swablu's wings. Leisurely taking your time, you paddle around the pond. As you have awoken, so too has all the other pond life. Over there, to your left, a group of Tympole are playing with bubbles. They seem to be having such fun, and you give the watching Seismitoad a regal nod in greeting, to which they croak back melodically. It's going to be that kind of day; you can just tell. A lovely, productive day where nothing can go wrong.

For you.

You take your leave from the pond and begin your morning walk. First, you head over to the lovely old lady who you know will feed you a few sweet treats. She does this every day, and not once does she try to capture you! Apparently, the treats she gives out are quite exotic, so of course, when her back is turned to check her rose garden, you pick up the basket and creep away with it.

Only half of them are for you, of course. You'd never be that selfish as to just hoard them all, no, definitely not! Those sweet little Tympoles also love the treats! You're a good, nice Swanna! Pay off debt to Seismitoad.

Carefully, making sure to not ruffle your wings and give away the fact you had left, you place the basket back where it was. You have no need for that basket, and if it's gone, then how will the old lady fill it with treats? You politely make a quiet honk, and the woman turns, a smile on her face. "Thank you for keeping me company, dear." She says politely, and you nod, before waddling off as she waves you goodbye. Be nice to someone for once. (Even if it's only for your own benefit).

You decide that some minor property damage is in order. It just so happens that the young couple nearby obtained a very rare item - something from the depths of Undella Bay! You've been there a few times - nice town, the Wingull steal ice-cream from the children there, and harass the adults for their hot chips. The Pelipper sometimes join in, and they then allow you to chase the braver children who decide they want to try to scare the Wingull.

The item is in their house. So, you have to get in somehow. The handle is round, so you can't simply pull it. There is no other way in except- oh hello! That there is an open window! And its got a pie on it! Looks like you get two different things today! Stealthily sneaking around the side of the house, you peek inside. It's clear! Score! And just above their couch, there's the relic! It's a crown, which while it would look nice on you, is all rusted and crusty. Not exactly a safe thing to wear constantly. But it does look brittle...quickly snatching the pie off the window, you messily eat it. You'd prefer to be neater, but the pie was only a secondary objective. Primary target has been located.

Now - how to get in? You don't want to jump in there, even though you could, because that'd leave evidence! That's not allowed! You're a stealthy Swanna! Not a blundering Braviary! You instead turn your sights to the ground, and scrounge around in the bushes. Aha! There! You drag the wooden plank over to the window. It looks a little flimsy, but you have faith that it will hold you. Although if you climb it a little too carefully than would be necessary, well, no one needs to see that.

Okay. Now you're inside. Perfect! Hurrying to their couch, your feet making _pap pap pap _sounds on the tiles, you leap up on it. It's one of those really soft types - which is nice, because while the squeaky variety allows you better grip, the softer one is less harsh on your feet. Stretching your neck up, you yank the crown off the shelf. You've got it! Steal the artefact. You hurry back to the window when- oh. Now you need to get back out. But then! The door! It's clicking! They're back! Although...this might be your one chance to escape. Do it quick enough, and they might mistake you for something else! The door slowly creaks open...and in three...two...one...

GO!

Crown in your beak, you dash forward as fast as possible - you're decently big, so as you go barrelling out the door, you knock the couple aside. They're unharmed, though a little bewildered. As the young man extends a hand to his girlfriend, she takes it and they go inside together. Then, you watch from the bushes as the guy gives a loud curse. He's discovered the crown has gone missing then! They immediately rush back out, and are patrolling the area. So they know whatever went by them has it, though they don't know exactly who it was. Perfect! There's a family not too far away that has a statue of an Arcanine in their yard. Wouldn't that stone fellow look nice with this lovely stone crown? Yes, it definitely would. You set off to go do that when you come across the children that belong to the young family. New idea! They're so naïve that they'll just take this crown from you, no questions asked!

You honk as you approach them, being just a little taller than they are. As you catch their attention, you lay the crown at their feet. The young girl looks delighted, and instantly picks it up, putting it on. She immediately turns to the young boy, her brother, and begins bossing him about with a regal voice. Games of pretend are always fun, and now the couple couldn't even get mad! Turning away, you wander down the street a little, and think it's time for a change in location.

This time, you take flight, powerful wings whipping up a storm of pollen from the nearby flower field. The fact that you know the 'Ace Trainer' across the road has mild hay fever just makes the scent of the flowers all the sweeter.

And thus you fly through the sky, a lone bird. Of course, you keep an eye out for that pesky Braviary, because it likes to pick on you sometimes. One day you'll get your revenge on that blasted other bird. Ah. Here we go! You're flying over a new location – a town of some sort. Could these be new people to terrorise? Mayhaps.

Oho! Two trainers are currently battling! Perfect!

If there's one thing you've learned throughout your life, it's that one; nobody ever looks up. Two, battling trainers get so focused on each other that you could very nearly get away with murder. And, it just so happens that both of them are wearing hats! Fantastic! The last hat you stole got all soggy and became deformed. Though which hat to take? You've got the trainer with green hair – his hat would look lovely on you! But he seems kinda weird. Do you want to risk it? Or do you go for the brown haired one? Their hat would also make you look rather fetching! But they seem like they'd be more capable of retrieving it. You hover a distance above them, wondering which hat to steal as they continue battling, though it looks like you must be quick, as both of their Pokémon look tired!

You know what? Why not go and try for both? You're big enough that a single flap of your wings should knock them both right off! Now, to get the angle right. You swoop in low, a fair distance away as you pick up speed. Ohoho! Here you go! Using a Brave Bird, you fly as close to their heads as you would allow yourself, and in your Tailwind, the hats come right off! Score! As the hats blow around, the trainer with the brown hair and Snivy recovers quickly and commands the 'mon to retrieve their hat before you could snatch it. What a pity! Well, the other trainer has made no move to get his back, so you grab it in your beak and leverage it onto your head. Obtain a new hat. Although oddly enough the green haired boy doesn't seem annoyed and appears to be rather amused.

What? Why is he amused? When you stole that other hat long ago, the owner tried their best to get it back and when they couldn't, tried to throw a Pokeball at you! Who did this guy think he is, being unannoyed with you? You're a menace! He should act like you are one! You land nearby and honk at him, and he just slowly approaches you.

Aha! So, he's trying to get his hat back by appearing friendly! You know his trick! And now that you know it, there's no way he's getting anywhere near you. As he moves closer, you back off. He stops, and so do you. He tries again, and you move back again.

This time, the green haired man sits down, the brown-haired trainer coming up beside him. They make conversation that you don't care to listen to. Instead you look for the green haired one's expression. Still no annoyance! Gah! Who the hell is this guy?! Oh no, now he's looking in your direction too! You make eye contact with him. "You can keep the hat if you'd like." He says.

What? WHAT? That- that's permission! Then the hat's not stolen anymore, it's been gifted! Oh no! That's not how this goes! You give a mad honk, and he looks confused for a second. What, was he expecting you to speak? He doesn't deserve your words!

So, instead, you wonder what would this trainer value that'd make him mad?

You look at him and catch sight of the cube at his side. Hmm. You have no idea what it is, but that might be important. Or the thing on his necklace. That's also rather important looking. Either way, to get them, you might have to sacrifice your hat. So, what are you to do?

Obviously, you take the hat. You'll just have to remember this trainer's face! You give another honk, and make sure to use Water Sport, shaking yourself dry and splattering the water over the both of them before taking flight with a powerful flap, instantly cooling the water droplets, which causes them to shudder slightly. Well, at least one thing went right with this!

You achieve lift-off, and fly up, up into the clouds that are as fluffy as they look. You don't glance back at the two trainers.

You can't believe that your plan didn't work! It usually always does! Well, you'll just have to show them!

They've made it personal now!

* * *

A/N: Hah. Well. I'm back on my bs, as per usual. To put it short - I like the Goose Game. I like Pokémon. And Pokémon has a lot of birds.

Each region will have a bastard bird, provided I keep this up. Some people will react differently. Personally, my fav bird is Swanna, hence the idea. Also, tis my first time uploading on this site since, like, 2013. I'm a little rusty.


End file.
